Advent Calendar 2016 #6

Dear December,

why is writing so hard? That’s a question I often ask myself. Then again, it seems to be fairly easy. Put one word after another until you have a text. Simple as that. My problem with writing is my own fear. Over the last days I have been working on an idea I had. That’s why I didn’t write to you, December. Many of my friends have encouraged me. One of them said today that she is touched by what I’m writing (which is incredibly sweet of her and makes me so happy). However, that it is for myself in the end. That’s obviously true. I do not write to other people in the beginning. The first draft is me telling myself the story. As Terry Pratchett suggested.

I read a lot of beautiful, wise quotes by Hemingway to keep myself working. I did. I wrote more than 1000 words every day. My problem now is – my story is bad. At least I think so. That’s my brain telling me that everything I do is bad. What is its motive? Fear. Fear of failing my own expectations, fear of getting something wrong. As I write these words I notice: If I don’t write anything, I cannot fix anything. This is why today I will be fearless and start my story. I will write some lines that will probably not make it into any of my drafts. But I will start something so that I can work on it. It will be messy but that’s ok.

For any of you out there who might be facing that fear: It’s ok to have it, just do something about it. Write anyway. Write through your fear. I will do that, too. Anything is better than an empty document. Anything is better than a story never told.

Here is a lovely quote which helped me a lot:

“People say to write about what you know. I’m here to tell you, no one wants to read that, cos you don’t know anything. So write about something you don’t know. And don’t be scared, ever.” Toni Morrison

December, I will keep you updated.

Lots of Love

 

Verena

 

 

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