NaNoWriMo Day 11: I Don’t Feel Like Writing

I don’t feel like writing,

It’s Friday, I’m tired.

I don’t feel like writing,

My words don’t make sense.

I already wrote

One sentence but then

It all fell apart

No joy more, no faith.

My words taken from me

My voice silent, still

I don’t feel like writing

I don’t think I will.

The past days have crushed me

And shaken my hope

The past days have drowned me

In self hate and doubt

I want to write onward

I want to write down

All that is left

What still can be saved.

I want to write,

Want to see stories evolve

Today evolves nothing

Just silence and cold

I’m shaken between

Go on or step back

From where I have come

But onward is longer

Than roads I have gone.

A half-finished sentence

So clumsy and silly

I don’t feel like writing

My brain is a mess

No hopeful ideas

Splutter inside,

No creations that made it

Blank page, I am tired.

I know this is normal,

I know this is hard,

Writing’s a business,

Not mine, no, not mine.

I know it takes effort

I know it takes strength

My strength, though, has vanished,

Keeps hiding away.

I feel like a failure

A bad person who

Can’t even make her

Own silly dreams come true.

I want to be writer,

An activist,

The dreams feel so far

And despair has approached

I write about hope

Do I have it myself?

Do I steal it from others

Does it cease to exist?

Questions, no answer

Phrases not said,

So needless my efforts

My time is not worth.

I don’t feel like writing

But writing I did.

The poem is crafted

The rhythm is fake

Just pieced it together

The glue doesn’t stick

I’m not good with verses

They make me feel sick

I only feel sadness

I said I’ll be happy

This world is in pieces

Its manual’s lost

I’m sitting here writing

Meaningless lines

When all else is failing

It’s making me cry

I think I should stop here,

My voice is not heard,

I told you to hope

When everything fell.

Current Word Count: 18041

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2 thoughts on “NaNoWriMo Day 11: I Don’t Feel Like Writing

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