Something that I had on my mind for a long time now: it is difficult to create art. Good art.
For weeks now I’ve been feeling that my mind is incredibly empty. I started some sketches and drawings and it was really hard for me to continue. I think about those days in summer when it was so easy, when I could work at night, have fun, create and love it. Those days, when I finished a little sketch in an hour and you liked it and it meant so much to me. It always does. Your support is amazing.
However, I feel I’m in a creative vacuum right now. Some reasons might be that I am a bit stressed out about uni. That I don’t know where to start. And maybe also, that I had to many projects in the last two months.
In November, I put 50 000 freaking words on the paper. In December, I painted or drew a picture every day. I created something every day. Looking back, I’m not entirely happy with the writing. It has no plot, only some scenes are quite nice… Also, the pictures I drew – there are some I like. And some, quite a few, I don’t.
People keep saying to me that it is important to love what you are doing. To pour your heart and soul into what you are doing. I didn’t do that. Not every day. I needed some rest. In the last days of the painting project I wanted to stop. I skipped one day. And someone told me, that they missed me uploading something for the day. I was angry and didn’t know why. It was me who had set the goal. Was I angry at myself?
I just asked myself: Do you want to continue? Do you want to do something today? Isn’t it more important, that you are happy with what you’re doing? That is why, one day, I didn’t draw anything at all. And it was good.
There are a few pictures I have in mind now, and there is a little short story I might write. It is incredibly hard to start, though. Start anything. Also, I have to write an essay for sociology. And another one and learn for maths and do all those things and aahhhhhh
Starting… the procrastination takes over my art process and I can’t escape.
Maybe you understand the state I’m currently in and maybe you can also give me some advice how to get out of it. How to create again. How to love what I’m doing again. How to make good art.
(If anyone of you knows Neil Gaiman’s speech on ‘Make good art’, it is so good! – but it doesn’t help me at the moment I guess… Just to explain the reference…)